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*** QUESTION ***
Dear Shiva,
My husband gives me oral sex but I don't enjoy it. I try to discuss
about it, but he does not want to talk much about it, he changes
the subject. Even I cannot explain to him what exactly he should
do. What should I tell him to do?
-MLL, from Zurich
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What truly arouses a woman and what gives her the hottest orgasms
is when a man knows how to use his tongue well.
But many women still don't enjoy truly wonderful oral sex for 2 main reasons.
1. Many men don't know what to do with their mouth once they get there. And the things they do end up doing, does NOT please her.
2. Some women are reluctant to receive oral sex because they carry with them the feeling that their genitals are unattractive or smell
bad.
Here are some basic Cunnilingus (oral sex) tips
HYGIENE ISSUES
The genital area of a healthy woman is one of the most self-cleansing parts of her body. In fact, a woman's vagina is cleaner than her mouth. Yet some men will readily tongue a woman's mouth but will hesitate to lick her vagina. :)
If a woman is clean and doesn't have infection, the fragrance and
taste of her vulva is something many men love. After all it's the fragrance and tast of AROUSAL! Still, if either of you are concerned about hygiene you can wash or shower together beforehand.
GET TO KNOW HER ANATOMY
First get to know her genital area. Here are some images
A woman's vulva consists of the fleshy outer lips, thinner inner
lips, clitoris, vagina, urethra and the perineum.
THE BASICS OF GOOD CUNNILINGUS (ORAL SEX)
Basic cunnilingus is licking the vulva from the vaginal opening to
the clitoris. Imagine eating an ice cream cone. Use the same upward
tongue strokes, from the bottom of her vagina to the top of her
clitoris. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. That is basic cunnilingus! :)
Here are some ways to enhance her pleasure further.
- Start slow. Don't dive into cunnilingus. Many women prefer a man
approaching their genitals g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y. Begin from her knees.
Nuzzle, kiss, lick and nibble her knees. Then move your mouth
higher, up her thighs, kissing-licking-nibbling, move along her inner thighs, higher and higher, continuing to kiss and lick. Until
you reach her vulva.
- Once you reach her vulva, kiss, lick and nuzzle the area around
her vulva. Start by licking the outer lips with the flat of your
tongue. Run your tongue up and down them. Pinch them with your
lips. Run your tongue in between the outer lips, to caress the
more sensitive inner lips. Lick her vaginal opening, circling
your tongue around it. Then gently insert your tongue inside her
vagina, and move it around, up and down, randomly. Try this: Write the letters of the alphabet on her vulva with your tongue. Write the letters A, B, C, D, etc. upto Z.
- Try inserting a finger or two inside her vagina and keep them inside while your tongue explores the rest of her vulva. Many women
enjoy oral sex more when they have a feeling of fullness in their
vagina. Make sure you first wet the fingers in her juices, or use a
lubricant like KY jelly.
- Avoid stimulating her clitoris DIRECTLY, unless you know that's
what she prefers. Most women find it too intense. Instead,
flutter-tongue the underside of the clitoris once every 10 to 15
seconds. (flutter tongue = moving tongue rapidly like the fluttering of a butterfly's wings)
- Get her feedback. Some women hesitate to express their reactions
about oral sex. If she squirms you might interpret that as ecstasy,
but in fact she could be hurting! Ask her questions that
let her answer in Yes or No. "Do you want me to lick you lighter?
Firmer?" Demonstrate a few varieties of licks, call them A, B and C
and have her name the choice she wants you to use.
- When she is at the point of orgasm, don't change the spot or the
pressure. Keep doing the same thing, at the same speed, at the same
pressure until her orgasm. Some men increase the speed or pressure
at the point of orgasm, which actually delays her orgasm.
- After orgasm her clitoris is usually hypersensitive, and most
women don't enjoy being touched or licked there. While she basks in
the afterglow, you could come up and hold her close and gently
massage her scalp or run your fingers through her hair.
Remember. Besides techniques, what affects a woman's enjoyment
of oral sex, is the enthusiasm with which you give it to her. Let
her know that you enjoy it. Make sounds of contentment "Mmmm...I
love the aroma of your garden" or "Yum...you taste so good".
Bon Appétit :)
To send me a Question, Comment or Topic suggestion, please visit
this page www.betterloverseminar.com/mailbag
Until next time.
SHIVA
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How to eat a woman
Cunnilingus (or oral sex) is the fine art of making love to her vulva using only your mouth and tongue.
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